Hey, bitches. Pour a glass of Malt Liquor, break out the inflatable chair, and take the cat out of your pants. It's time for another edition of Stee Takes A Look At The Trades.
'Spy Kids' Tops Box Office for Second Weekend. The Robert Rodriguez-directed film took home $17.8 million this weekend. Did you hear that? That's the sound of me being too astounded, horrified, and scared to think up anything funny to say about this.
NBC Renews 'Just Shoot Me' for Two More Years. Phew. I was worried where I was going to find my sporadic, widely-spaced, unenthusiastic chuckles if it went off the air. Thank god.
Stockard Channing Gets Into 'Life' With Jolie. Stockard Channing is in final negotiations to play a Barbara Walters-esque journalist in the upcoming romantic comedy "Life, or Something Like It," starring Angelina Jolie. She's a wonderful actress and all, but no offense, when a deal involving Stockard Channing is heavily reported, the words Slow News Day is an understatement.
Tupac Shakur Resurrected On Album Charts. Slain gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur claimed the No. 1 spot on the album charts from beyond the grave this week. In a related story, slumping rapper Master P is arranging to have himself killed sometime next month.
FCC issues indecency guidelines. The FCC issued clips of banter from morning radio show as examples of what they would no longer put up with, including this from Howard Stern. "Have you ever had sex with an animal? Well, don't knock it. I was sodomized by Lambchop." I have nothing to add to this, but c'mon, that's funny. Jokes about puppets are always funny. I know I could use a few more jokes about Willie Tyler and Lester in my life. And incidentally, I just learned that Word refuses to acknowledge any awareness of the word "sodomized." Yeah, whatever, Bill Gates.
Andy Garcia to Produce Latino-Themed Cable Movie. Of course he is. I mean, really, what else is he going to do with his days? Make Just The Ticket II?
...I've not yet been fired. I either got my two weeks, or I was supposed to be out of here on Friday and no one told me. That's just how communicative they've been with me. Thanks for all your well-wishes and advice. You'll find out when I do what happens next.
Zappin' it to ya.
The pressure's everywhere.
Goin' right through ya.
The fever's in the air.
Oh yeah, it's there!
Don't underestimate the power
of a lifetime ahead
Feel the power, you see the energy
Coming on strong.
The future only belongs
to the future itself. In the hands of itself.
And the future is
It's true you can't fight it.
Live by it.
The next generation.
We've got the most time
to make the world go round.
Oh, can you spare a dime?
Place your bet on our sound.
Come back to town.
Don't lose sight of potential mastermind.
Remember when you were young.
We do what comes naturally.
You see now.
Wait for the possibility.
Don't you see a strong resemblance
Don't you think what we say is important.
Whatever it may be.
The fun is gonna start with me.
'Cause I'm bringing it back... speaking of which. There was a guy at Fulsom who had an electric tooth. Or at least that's what it felt like.