go stee. it's your birthday. go stee... Yesterday was my birthday. (Hey, thanks. Thanks a lot.) I spent the morning at rehearsal and then went to get the stuff of my yearly birthday ritual – Chinese Food. It started one year in college when I found myself spending my birthday eating expensive Chinese take-out, drinking Bass Ale, and watching Baywatch. Alone. I let the Baywatch part of it die, but I still get Chinese and eat it by myself. Why? I have no idea. I like rituals. I have little tapping rituals. Odd numbers. No rhyme or reason to it. I think I might have a touch of OCD. Now I’m not the Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing, and I am able to seal an envelope without thinking I’ve trapped my daughter inside (actual OCD case!), but I have little quirks. They get in the way of nothing. Don’t worry.On the way to Chin-Chin I passed an outdoor Dog Adoption Fair and had to stop. I ended up spending a full hour in the hot sun playing with the dogs. Feeling sorry for the dogs. Feeling sorry for myself. There were great pitbulls and a Rotty/Chow mix who looked like a long-haired Stella. After a while of me hugging this dog, he was like, "OK, dude. I really appreciate the attention but I’d kinda planned to lick my balls for a while at some point this afternoon so could you go play with the elderly poodles or something. Thanks." This is a private organization that takes in any dogs and destroys NONE. Zero. They even rescue dogs from the shelters. Very cool. My poor ass donated 5 bucks. Last night the lady, M., took me to a fancy-pants restaurant where Cuba Gooding Jr. happened to be holding court in the next room. You know how some celebrities have a public face and a personal face, and they’re totally different? Not this dude. Remember his Oscar speech? Basically we listened to ol’ Cuba at that volume for 2 hours. Amusing, if not terribly romantic. But he is a handsome man, so maybe it was for M. I asked M. how much she’d pay me if I walked up to him and said, "Hi. I saw Lighting Jack in the theater. You owe me 7 dollars." She didn’t offer me enough. But I would’ve. For like 100 bucks. Totally. Well, maybe. Or I could’ve said, "Dude. Is that movie with you and Anthony Hopkins, like, ever going to come out? Or did you guys just make the preview and there really is no movie. You can tell me." That would’ve been even funnier. Ha ha ha. You know? Alright, nevermind. We then drove into the hills and I opened my gifts in the car looking down at Los Angeles. It’s a ritual too. We like it. We feel like we’re trespassing somehow, sitting in this great neighborhood, wishing we lived there, enjoying their view. When I was in high school and college, my then girlfriend and I used to drive into the nice hills of Berkeley and have sex in my car. Defile their precious little neighborhoods with our young love. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, and there was a big party for me and two others on Saturday. It was great. People drank. People laughed. People fought. People passed out. People kissed. I have great friends. I love my friends. This is where I let Larry King take over my body for a few minutes. In searching Excite for plaintive wail, they suggested I try adding the words Portishead, Celtics, and UltraPenguin…Just saw Happiness. What a disturbing but wonderfully acted film...I am going to bed.
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