who dat? contest:
first correct answer:
no one got it right.
i'm quite ashamed of you all.
Sonnet XXVI: Ode to E!
In rhyming couplets and iambic pentameter!
Oh E! Entertainment Television
To spread your gospel that is my mission
Thou art my one true sleeze and scandal fix
By troth you live on channel twenty-six
And why do I so dearly loveth thee?
You are but one click down from MTV
Fashion Emergency, it makes me sing
That Emme really takes the cake (whole thing)
And Leons so scary, queeny, and gross
But hes more manly than Talk Soups new host
A.J. Benza strolls through the shadows dark
That trench coat makes him look just like a narc
He shows the underside of Hwoods kitsch
And then he dost quoth, "Fame. Aint it a bitch."
Gossip Show: oh how they dish so smugly
The true scoop is how they're all so ugly
With bad fashion, Joan Rivers gets so miffed
Should she talketh with the worlds worst facelift
Her lips and eyes are stretched like they will burst
I take that back: William Shatners is worse
I once went and bought dog food at PetCo
Later that day I saw Steve Kametko
His sharp suits make other men look heinous
Who knew he was dating Greg Louganis
E!s runway shows: models sway and ripple
But why is it that they can show nipple
E! True Hollywood Stories are pure glee
Oh please let them someday do one on me
The Larry King Happy Song
Hello. Larry loves you. Wont you tell Larry your name? Hello.
Larry loves you. Let Larry jump in your game. Speaking of games, I am reminded of summer
days on 32nd Street in Brooklyn. Wed return pop bottles to McDugans
drugstore and buy snowcones with the pennies. Wed then play stickball against 31st
Street until our mothers would call us in for supper. Boy, those were the days!
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