Dear Miss Missy Elliot,

Uh... I have no idea what you are talking about. The pictures were all destroyed. I mean...

Regarding your plea. I showed it to my client and at first he simply ashed  on the document and mumbled something about "put your arms around this, sucka". I pleaded and he eventually read the document.

Unfortunately, during his pursual of the letter, my client suddenly fell over and passed out cold. From the best I could tell, he was right around  the line about "third eye blind" when he was overcome. Upon reviving him,  all my client said was "wish you would step back fwom that ledge my fwiend". 
Over and over. Muttering and laughing and then telling me my "little wed  panties they passed the test" and further asking me to get "face down on the  mattwess". (I didn't.)

Please, ask your client if she knows of anything that might bring him around  (and make him able once again to pronounces his r's.) On his behalf, I think  I can safely say that my client would be ever grateful and would resolve to continue their friendship.

Before the unfortunate incident, my client suggested a "wav" file of a  "jackee" impression would be most valued, but know nothing about computer so have no idea what it is. I'm about as computer savvy as my dog Blinkers.

Ha 
ha. Heh. Hmmm.

Please help,

Sherman Rottenfeldstein, ESQ.
cc: Mark Magrath
cc: Jewel
cc: Paula Cole
cc: Perry Ferrell
cc: Blinkers (good boy!)
 

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