who dat? contest.

none today.

last game:

actress clea duvall.
a bunch of stupid shit.

first correct answer:

john donnelly

left column not sure anyone understand anymore.

emmy noms wrap-up: biased and totally uninformed

I strolled into work today, only to see numerous TV news vans and people milling about. And then, by the fountain, I saw Jules Asner and Steve Kametko. Ah ha, Emmy nominations were announced here in my building this morning at like 5:38. (Yes, I work in the Academy building. Please don't stalk me.) So I watched them for a while. I watched Steve trying not to bitchslap Jules and Jules trying very hard to remember her lines and not look quite so awkward on camera (the way she moves her hips all jerky/sexy while she talks makes me laugh a lot.) But I quickly got bored. (Pamie thinks Jules Asner is a man. Congrats to Pam on her big site move, by the way.)

I was raised on television. Well, not literally because that would be pretty uncomfortable, but I grew up watching a LOT of TV. When I was sick from school, I would go through the whole TV Guide and make a chart of everything I was going to watch the entire day. I think I penciled in a half-hour break to let my eyeballs stop bleeding, but the rest of the day I was glued to that fucking thing. My family ate in front of the TV. Usually it was MASH. Later, Cheers. I grew up on comedy. I didn't have much use for drama, except St. Elsewhere and Hill Street Blues and lighter hour shows like The Dukes or The A-Team. There was always Benny Hill or Monty Python playing somewhere in my house. And when my folks would go for the Masterpiece Theatre or some shit, I'd always be able to run upstairs and find Kirk Cameron on the little B&W. Unless my sister had brought it into the bathroom while she took a bath. Then I'd just nic out and read a book, shaking. Later, for my folks it was Murder, She Wrote, and my deep hatred for that show only increased with each passing week that Jessica Fletcher was not arrested and tried for just "happening" to discover a trail of bodies everywhere she went. Seriously, no matter where the old bat went, someone died. Someone Always Died. She's the fucking angel of death, that lady. I don't care if some hack actor always actually ended up confessing - it was Jessica's fault. Jessica ruins everything. Seriously.

And for some reason now, I don't watch much TV. Currently, I watch the least I probably ever have. I'm too busy. I really am. I'd rather read or watch a movie if I'm just sitting around. I've never trusted people who talk like this in the past, and I don't trust myself now. It's not that I don't like TV, it's really a time thing. And as a result, I'm as least informed about the Emmy's this year as I've ever been. But will that keep me from giving my opinion? Hell no...

Comedy Series: Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS; Frasier, NBC; Friends, NBC; Sex and the City, HBO; Will & Grace, NBC

Everybody Loves Raymond? Really? They do? Who? Frasier is OK. Sex is good. Will and Grace is actually one of the best written and acted shows on TV (I say this grudgingly), but Friends gets no respect, and while most sitcoms get worse over time, Friends has gotten sharper and smarter.

Drama Series: ER, NBC; Law & Order, NBC; The Practice, ABC; The Sopranos, HBO; The West Wing, NBC

I resisted watching The West Wing, but I hear it's astounding. Moira Kelley and Rob Lowe both give me the heebies. I love ER. Sopranos rocks my ass though. It is not quite fair, however, that ER has to deal with what it does in terms of commercials and censors and such. Sopranos has the unfair advantage. But, being on pay cable doesn't guarantee a show is going to be any good. Arli$$, I'm looking in your direction...

Miniseries: Arabian Nights, ABC; The Beach Boys: An American Family, ABC; The Corner, HBO; Jesus, CBS; P.T. Barnum, A&E

Um...I don't know. I like the audacity of naming your TV program after the Son of God. How can you vote against that? But I fucking hate the kid who played Jesus, Jeremy Sisqo or whatever, so I'll say P.T. Barnum just because Beau Bridges is Jeff's brother.

Made-for-Television Movie: Annie, ABC; Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, HBO; Oprah Winfrey Presents: Tuesdays with Morrie, ABC; RKO 281, HBO

This is so about the actors for me. I have something against Halle Hit & Run (also the script sucked when I read it) and Hank Azaria and Liev Schreiber, so I'll say Annie. What the hell.

Lead Actor, Comedy Series: Michael J Fox, Spin City, ABC; Kelsey Grammer, Frasier, NBC; John Lithgow, 3rd Rock from the Sun, NBC; Eric McCormack, Will & Grace, NBC; Ray Romano, Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS

Fox will win on the sick vote. I'm tired of Lithgow and fucking Kelsey Grammer (I'm glad his Macbeth tanked). I have no feeling about Ray Romano. I actually like Eric McCormack on that show, so I'd give it to him... since Chandler wasn't nominated.

Lead Actor, Drama Series: Dennis Franz, NYPD Blue, ABC; James Gandolfini, The Sopranos, HBO; Jerry Orbach, Law & Order, NBC; Martin Sheen, The West Wing, NBC; Sam Waterston, Law & Order, NBC

Wow. A bunch of normal looking guys. Cool. Orbach and Waterson. Feh. Franz had his time, although he's great on that show. Sheen? I don't know. I have to see that thing more. Gandolfini. Man. The choices he makes on the show. What an actor. He blows my mind.

Lead Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Beau Bridges, P.T. Barnum, A&E; Brian Dennehy, Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman, Showtime; Jack Lemmon, Oprah Winfrey Presents: Tuesdays with Morrie, ABC; William H. Macy, A Slight Case of Murder, TNT; Liev Schreiber, RKO 281, HBO

I dig Beau. Like Dennehy. Like Lemmom. Love Macy. Fuck Liev. I'd go with Lemmon, cuz he's all old and shit.

Lead Actress, Comedy Series: Jenna Elfman, Dharma & Greg, ABC; Patricia Heaton, Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS; Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm in the Middle, Fox; Debra Messing, Will & Grace, NBC; Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and the City, HBO

Dharma & Greg is still on? Anyway, no no no for her L. Ron Hubbard-loving ass. Heaton? Who? Kaczmarek? Who? Messing is funny, yes she is. SJP is fine. Messing does straight theatre. Give it to her.

Lead Actress, Drama Series: Lorraine Bracco, The Sopranos, HBO; Amy Brenneman, Judging Amy, CBS; Edie Falco, The Sopranos, HBO; Julianna Margulies, ER, NBC; Sela Ward, Once and Again, ABC

Bracco is a lead actress? Really? Since when? I like Amy Brenneman, though I've only seen 2 minutes of that show. Sela Ward. Whatever. Margulies is of course my winter girlfriend, who replaces Cate Blanchett for half the year. She had a good season. I'd give it to her. Edie Falco pisses me off cuz she gets to be on Oz as well. Spread the wealth, you know? But she's great. PLUS, Julianna walked away from 27 million dollars to stay on ER. No shit. Dumb move probably, but that takes some balls, yo.

Lead Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Halle Berry, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, HBO; Judy Davis, A Cooler Climate, Showtime; Sally Field, A Cooler Climate, Showtime; Holly Hunter, Harlan County War, Showtime; Gena Rowlands, The Color of Love: Jacey's Story, CBS

Fuck it. Holly Hunter.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Peter Boyle, Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS; Brad Garrett, Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS; Sean Hayes, Will & Grace, NBC; Peter MacNicol, Ally McBeal, Fox; David Hyde Pierce, Frasier, NBC

Everybody Loves Whatever. I like Fish (he was in Sophie's Choice, you know) and David Hyde Pierce is fine, but I have to say Sean Hayes is damn funny.

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Michael Badalucco, The Practice, ABC; Dominic Chianese, The Sopranos, HBO; Steve Harris, The Practice, ABC; Richard Schiff, The West Wing, NBC; John Spencer, The West Wing, NBC

Uh. Is Dominic Big Pussy? If so, then him. If not, I don't know. You pick.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Hank Azaria, Oprah Winfrey Presents: Tuesdays with Morrie, ABC; Klaus Maria Brandauer, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, HBO; James Cromwell, RKO 281, HBO; Danny Glover, Freedom Song, TNT; John Malkovich, RKO 281, HBO

Malkovich is a freak, but I love him. I actually like most of these actors. I'd give it to Klaus Maria Brandauer, because his name is Klaus.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Jennifer Aniston, Friends, NBC; Kim Cattrall, Sex and the City, HBO; Lisa Kudrow, Friends, NBC; Megan Mullally, Will & Grace, NBC; Doris Roberts, Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS

Um... no one. Maybe Kim Cattrall. Maybe. I'm not on the Lisa Kudrow bandwagon like the rest of the free world. And I dislike Jennifer Aniston in theory. She was damn fine in Leprechaun, though (pre nose-job).

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Stockard Channing, The West Wing, NBC; Tyne Daly, Judging Amy, CBS; Allison Janney, The West Wing, NBC; Nancy Marchand, The Sopranos, HBO; Holland Taylor, The Practice, ABC

Nancy Marchard rocked and she will win, you know, because of the whole death thing. But Allison Janney is one of the best actresses around. Anywhere.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kathy Bates, Annie, ABC; Elizabeth Franz, Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman, Showtime; Melanie Griffith, RKO 281, HBO; Vanessa Redgrave, If These Walls Could Talk 2, HBO; Maggie Smith, David Copperfield, PBS

Elizabeth Franz. She rules.

Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Anthony LaPaglia, Frasier, NBC; Carl Reiner, Beggars and Choosers, Showtime; Tom Selleck, Friends, NBC; Bruce Willis, Friends, NBC; Henry Winkler, Battery Park, NBC

I HATE that only stars ever get nominated for this category. I resent it, and therefore refuse to vote. Stars is not where the best Guest acting happens on TV. It's just not.

Guest Actor in a Drama Series: Alan Alda, ER, NBC; Paul Dooley, The Practice, ABC; Kirk Douglas, Touched by an Angel, CBS; James Whitmore, The Practice, ABC; Henry Winkler, The Practice, ABC

Alright, I will vote for the Fonz, only because he's the Fonz, and because he was nominated in both categories, and because I hear he's the nicest guy in Hollywood.

Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Bea Arthur, Malcolm in the Middle, Fox; Cheri Oteri, Just Shoot Me, NBC; Debbie Reynolds, Will & Grace, NBC; Jean Smart, Frasier, NBC; Holland Taylor, The Lot, AMC

I refuse again.

Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Jane Alexander, Law & Order/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC; Kathy Baker, Touched by an Angel, CBS; Marlee Matlin, The Practice, ABC; Tracy Pollan, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC; Beah Richards, The Practice, ABC

Marlee Matlin, cuz she's deaf. Or Beah Richards, you know... cuz her name is Beah.

I was going to do writing and casting (I'm glad they're doing casting now. That's really great.) but I'm sleepy.

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

We hate it when our friends become successful. We hate it when our friends become successful. Oh, look at those clothes. Now look at that face, it's so old. And such a video. Well, it's really laughable, ha, ha, ha... We hate it when our friends become successful. And if they're Northern, that makes it even worse. And if we can destroy them. You bet your life we will destroy them. If we can hurt them well, we may as well... It's really laughable, ha, ha, ha... You see, it should've been me. It could've been me. Everybody knows. Everybody says so. They say: "Ah, you have loads of songs. So many songs. More songs than they'd stand. Verse. Chorus. Middle eight. Break, fade. Just listen..." La, la-la, la-la... speaking of which. I love it when my friends become successful. Well, now that I think about it folks, I don't really consort with the not famous. I do have one old friend from my Brooklyn days named Stinky Steinowitz. Stinky is not famous, but with the girls of 128th Street in Greenpoint, he sure is! Oh wait, Stinky's dead. Nevermind. Hey, speaking of stinky, I like the smell of my own pee. Is that wrong?
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