what part of "on the house" do you not
It's Saturday and Im at work again today. Truly pathetic. Drinking a diet coke and doing nothing. Nada. Havent even thought about thinking about considering doing anything related vaguely to what Im right now getting paid $22.50 (overtime) an hour to do. Thats about 3 cents every 5 seconds. Wait See, I just made 3 cents. and another 3 cents. I bet Tom Cruise does the same thing when hes on set. Takes a piss (do Scientologists have urethras?) and says to himself, "That piss cost Sony $47,000. Of course taxes takes 30%, 10% goes to ICM. 15% to my managers. 5% to my lawyers. 5% to my publicists. 10% to that asshole Victor as hush money so he wont write the tell-all about my secret gay life. Hmmm, I should just have him killed already. Note to self: have Victor killed. Other note to self: caught a bit of ER the other night. Liked it. Good to see Edwards. Havent seen him in a while. Failed to start him on the glorious bridge to L. Ron Hubbard, but not everyones perfect, like me. He did loose his hair so thats some karma. Ha ha ha. Note to self: have hair plugs re-done. Hmmm, that Best Boy is kind of cute. Maybe Ill bring him a roll of Lifesavers from craft services. Nah, Ill just have one of my assistants bring it over."
Well, maybe he doesnt say all of that.
Im angry. (yeah, so whats new) My friend Robb called me up last night and said they were going to a bar where his friend Adam bartends so we could drink for free. Cool. Great. So I went and we sat and listened to really bad swing bands (When is this "craze" ending already?) and drank. Guinness gave way to Gin and Tonics which gave way to Tequila. So at the end of the night, the waitress brings over a tab for 100 dollars. Apparently Adam didnt let her know we should be free and since it was already in the computer Anyway, I spent 30 dollars when I really wanted to be laying on my couch watching Behind The Music.
Ive been trying to push myself to go out even when I dont want to, but I tell ya, sometimes it aint worth it.
This is where I let Larry King take over my body for a few minutes.
Larry is out having a breast reduction.