who dat? contest.
(yo stee. i know
ronnie james dio
first correct answer:
So my Internet connection here at work just went down, and it strikes me how much I rely on it to get me through my boring days at work. With all I now do on the net, it's actually become more work than my actual job, which makes me feel lucky, in part, to be here where that's possible... except when the fucking connection goes down. Damn.
Some days I don't have time to finish what all I have to do. I'm rarely online for much at home because I only have a dial-up there, and after being on a T1 all day, I find the lag intolerable. It's like being at the plate and getting fastball after fastball, then suddenly getting a slow knuckler: it looks as if it's going about 2 mph after all the heat. So I pretty much have to do everything here. Plus I don't really want to be at the computer after a full day of it.
I used to read a lot of online journals. I had a list of about 30 I would check daily. Now, sadly, I read only a handful on a regular basis. I check others when I have time. I miss being sucked into a new person's life. But really, I only did that because I had tons of time to kill at work and had a fast connection. I wonder what will happen, if, I mean when, I manage to get out of the office for good. I don't imagine I'll be online nearly as much. I won't. There's no way. In truth I don't know how much I even like computers. Not enough to learn much about them, obviously. I love video games, but mostly they leave me cold and suck up my time, so I don't play that often. I mean, and I seriously grew up playing video games at arcades and 7-11's and Safeway's and at home on the Atari 2600. But now I feel as if fundamentally they're a waste of time. I know that sounds odd to some and many people will argue with me about that, but it's the reason I've never gotten a Playstation or anything. And anyway, I just can't imagine I'd get a whole lot done, knowing I had nine levels of Resident Evil 2 to get through and would I rather do that or do the dishes? No contest. And then would I rather kill zombies or work on a screenplay? Or then would I rather find that hidden room or go out with that cute girl from the party the other night?
And in my travels online, I've met a lot of people or just observed them, who seem to spend a great portion of their lives online. I don't just mean they spend a lot of time online, just that they seem to live more of their lives online. Like for example, and I hope I'm not offending anyone here, I recently read where someone was talking about having broken up with their ex recently. Now here's the catch: they'd never met. Never seen each other face to face. Now, how can that be a boyfriend? Sure, I've met people through email, and I have a handful of people I consider friends who I've never met, but I would love to meet them. Some I've talked to on the phone. And some I've gotten and chance to meet. Some I get to see nearly every day. And I would in a second give up these online relationships with people for ones involving flesh and air and eyes and arms. I like sitting around chatting with people, drinking beers and laughing. Sitting with someone somewhere. Driving somewhere with someone. Now, I don't think the majority of people feel any different from me, and some find ways to be social online where they don't have the capacities, for whatever reason, to do so in life. And that's fine. But I have a hidden tendency towards wanting to be alone by nature, and I could see how the computer could be a dangerous thing for me in those terms. I don't really have a point here, other than the fucking lack of Internet alla sudden is making me realize I probably rely on the net more than I even thought and maybe even a little more than makes me comfortable. Maybe. I haven't really figured that one all out yet.
Aside from porn and looking up song lyrics, the Internet isn't really good for much. Well, that's not true, but it sounds funny. Here are some of my Bookmarks, most of which have been the same for 3 years and are very outdated, presented in the order in which I have them, for whatever reason. Many of which I've never gone to, or not in years. Take what you will from this, if anything. (Mostly just take that I'm bored and suddenly realized I haven't cleaned out my Bookmarks in forever.) Oh, and journals and most movie-related bookmarks and lyrics are in other folders, by the way:
Can't get over the ex?
See Requiem For A Dream yet?
No one likes bad sex.
The debate that won't die. Tipping.
Music you should like, but just don't.
Design your own funeral.
Love the movie quotes.
This girl I know needs some shelter. She don't believe anyone can help her. She's doing so much harm. Doing so much damage, That you don't want to get involved. You tell her she can manage. And you can't change the way she feels. But you could put your arms around her. And though you want to live yourself. Could you forgive yourself if you left her just the way you found her? I stand in front of you, take the force of the blow. Protection. I'll stand in front of you, t'll take the force of the blow. Protection. I'm a boy and you're a girl. But you know you can lean on me. And I don't have no fear. I'll take on any man that's here. Who says that's not the way it should be. And I'll stand in front of you, and I'll take the force of the blow. Protection. I'll stand in front of you, I'll take the force of the blow. Protection. She's a girl and you're a boy. Sometimes you look so small. You look so small. You got a baby of your own. And when your baby's gone. She'll be the one to catch you when you fall. I'll stand in front of you, I'll take the force of the blow. Protection. I stand in front of you, I take the force of the blow. Protection. You're a girl and I'm a boy. You're a girl and I'm a boy. Yeah. You're a girl and I'm a boy. You're a girl and I'm a boy... speaking of which. Hush lil' fucker don't you cry. Mama's gonna buy you a Hostess fruit pie. She is. She is. And if that Hostess fruit pie should get eaten by your mama, mama's gonna buy you a... Hey, y'all. Shhhhhhh. The lil' fucker's finally asleep. I saw him playing in the garage again with that nasty gardener and I had to take a switch to him. He'll be okay. The Xanex is kickin' in. Boy, look at him sleep, y'all. What a cute kid. Just think, if I'd used protection, he wouldn't be here to support his mama during this trying time. But then again, I wouldn't have this cut on my hand from where the switch cut into my palm. Oh well, the little trade-offs in life, you know?
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