who dat? contest.
(yo stee. i know
singer harriet wheeler
first correct answer:
So I think someone is looking out for me, because yesterday I was in a really bad mood and wrote a really pissy entry... and I forgot to send it home to upload it. The stunning entry included this poem:
People are stupid.
I was reading the back of the trades yesterday and they had the list of Top Box Office money-makers for last week. This has been a pretty fucking shitty year for films. I said this before and so far, the Oscar season hasn't given forth many great contenders. Let's take a brief look at these current films:
Meet The Parents. Not bad. Not great. I think Robert DeNiro does funny, if insanely unchallenging work here. He's entering into a lucrative but very strange phase of his career. But bully for him. Bout time he had some box office clout. Ben Stiller is funny, but does nothing we haven't seen him do before, here. Fine. Enjoyable. Won't change your life... or even your day.
Blair Witch 2. I hear this is bafflingly hideous. It's made by a very good documentarian, but apparently it's a mess. I will rent this for pure curiosity. Talk about it.
Remember the Titans. No interest in seeing this, strangely enough. I love football and Denzel. It just didn't strike me and I know nearly nothing about it. Is it good?
Bedazzled. Fuck Elizabeth Hurley in her limey asshole. Scab bitch. She can go to hell. (Oh! Ha. Get it? Cuz in the movie... she's... nevermind.)
Pay It Forward. Schmaltz. This is an example of where I let hideous reviews keep me from going, even though previously I'd really wanted to. Strikes against: they tried to fake us out by using American Beauty-ish music for the trailers. It has Helen Hunt seeming much like she was in As Good As It Gets - a role I find her totally un-right for. Supposed to suck. Features Jay Mohr.
The Little Vampire. Hee. Jonathan Lipnicki has a funny name and a big head.
Lucky Numbers. John Travolta is on a... what's the opposite of a roll? The greedy, fat, Scientologist fuck has made 9000 films since his resurgence. He fucked himself, there. He's also apparently trying to go forward with Battlefield Earth 2. Good luck, asshole.
The Contender. Disappointing. We're talking about it in the forum here. You can read my fucking stellar and dead accurate views there.
The Legend of Drunken Master. Chop-socky. Have not seen. Much want to.
Best in Show. Very very sad and disappointed. So sad. So very unfunny. Talk about it here.
The Exorcist. Have not seen the re-release. Friends have told me it's crazy scary. Last night my friend told me she had her eyes closed and her fingers in her ears for 90% of the film, she was so scared. And yes, we're talking about it here.
The Ladies Man. Funny skit. Shitty movie, I'm guessing. I wrote a bit for my comedy group about Loren Michaels and his shitty skit-movies. It was a preview for the newest SNL film, "Closing Credits: The Movie." And we all stood out there like they do at the end of the show. "Thanks. That's our show. Thank you Seal. Goodnight." And we just waved and hugged. I mean, that's all that's left for LM to transfer to the big screen. Maybe "Weekend Update: The Movie" is coming...
Lost Souls. Lost career path, Winona.
Dr. T and the Women. Richard Gere is about an exciting to me as Peter Scolari. OK, that's not fair... Peter Scolari is much more exciting.
Almost Famous. Almost good.
Billy Elliot. Limey ha-ha cutesy movie. OK, fine, I'll rent it.
Bring It On. Not the much-proclaimed Best. Movie. Ever. But good and fun and Kirsten Dunst with the fake breasts, is always fine with me.
I'm happy to report that Pamie has arrived safe in town and is at her new digs as I type this. Welcome to L.A., woman.
Still with the romance!
He had alot to say. He had alot of nothing to say. We'll miss him. So long. We wish you well. You told us how you weren't afraid to die. Well then, so long. Don't cry. Or feel too down. Not all martyrs see divinity. But at least you tried. Standing above the crowd, he had a voice that was strong and loud. We'll miss him. Ranting and pointing his finger At everything but his heart. We'll miss him. No way to recall. What it was that you had said to me, like I care at all. So loud. You sure could yell. You took a stand on every little thing. And so loud. Standing above the crowd, he had a voice so strong and loud and I swallowed his facade cuz I'm so eager to identify with someone above the ground. Someone who seemed to feel the same. Someone prepared to lead the way, with someone who would die for me. Will you? Will you now? Would you die for me? Don't you fuckin lie. Don't you step out of line. Don't you fuckin lie. You've claimed all this time that you would die for me. Why then are you so surprised to hear your own eulogy? You had alot to say. You had alot of nothing to say. Come down. Get off your fuckin cross. We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr. To ascend you must die. You must be crucified For your sins and your lies. Goodbye...... speaking of which. All these, uh, pain medications makes Anna sleepy, y'all. They do. They do zzzzzzzzzz...
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