who dat? contest:

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"i know!"

previous results:

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actor michael imperioli

first correct answer:

iain jackson

wee bawdy limericks fer ye

Once again, I was going to write about something very serious, like the East Timorese’s fight for independence, or the grievous omission of Seth, Rushdie and Doyle from the Booker prize finals list, but the news in Hollywood today is just too bizarre to ignore.

And for an extra added treat, we’ll talk about the Trades today in Limerick form. Aye, ya bahsterds!

diana ross heads for the plane
at security she goes insane
scary diva protests
that the guard touched her breasts
ain’t miss thang being just a tad vain?

elton john and george michael will play
at a concert for rights of the gay
but the question I must
of george michael is thus:
backstage with himself will he play?

hollywood types they do jump for joy
as a foe the n.y. times employs:
critic maslin, she quits!
but before they throw fits
just remember she praised cabin boy

harry potter! hollywood does dig
demme, reiner, s.s. want the gig
what this does prove to me
not the books’ quality
but that the nerd audience is big

hbo they’re just rolling in bucks
sex in city is chock full of yucks
it and oz you just knew
hbo would renew
but arliss!? that show totally sucks

judith light, that actress doesn’t quit
just opened in the ny play "wit"
if danza came and saw
he’s say, "yo. angela!"
as in this play she does show her tit

will and grace, sitcom on nbc
called a latina chick "tamale"
hispanics got real mad
nbc felt so "bad"
that they changed the mean line to "honey"

tell me, why won’t they just let her be?
you can’t really blame poor kathie lee
her clothes keep being made
by kids who’re underpaid
well who cares, at least it’s not cody

after years of refusing to choose
dick clark says, "hell I’ve nothing to lose"
so what’s his favorite song?
been "misty" all along!
wait remind me, just why is this news?


…the sleezy producer from the short film I wrote (it was a play, they purchased it from me, turned into a film) called me yesterday, "Hey buddy…". That’s how he begins every conversation. Even with his mother, I’m sure. "Hey buddy, how’s Dad?" Anyway, he goes on to tell me that the film just got into the Atlantic City Film Festival. "Wow! Atlantic City. That’s like #4! It goes Cannes, Sundance, Toronto, Atlantic City, right?" Seriously, I guess it’s cool but I sure ain’t never heard of no Atlantic City Film Festival. Have you?


…this is from a New York Times review of a new sitcom called Oh Grow Up:

"Here's a sitcom so skillfully derivative that you'll swear you're already tired of it, even though you've never seen it before."

The Larry King Happy Song Corner

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Larry brings you love love love love crazy love. Larry brings you love love love love crazy love… speaking of which. Nothing puts me in the mood for romance like a good ol’ Betty Carter album. I just pop the disc on the old RCA turntable, light some lavender-scented candles, take out the Baby Gold Bond Medicated Power, and boy oh boy – we’re ready to go!

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