never been a bitch so I don't act bitchy

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

'Late Late Show' Doesn't Mock Spears - Yahoo! News

What better way to respect someone's privacy during a difficult time than to announce on the air that you're respecting their privacy during a difficult time and relate it to your own difficult time, thus generating press for your ratings-challenged show the next morning? I can't think of a single better way.

...Except to go on to presume to know that someone "clearly needs help," and to annouce such within the above announcement of your desire to respect their privacy during a difficult time... which you're making a giant leap to assume is a difficult time because of the fact that you know from difficult times, since you once had your own difficult time. You know, years ago.

Well played, Ferguson. Don't look now, but you finally just became an American citizen without even having to take the test! Bravo.

Seriously, I applaud sober people, but lord, does it make even the most charming and funny among us sound like sanctimonious dicks. You know who was a good sober person? Sam Malone. Never preached. Never acted holier-than-thou. Just poured booze and drank seltzers and tried to fuck that Scientologist chick from Fat Actress. Nothing wrong with that. Except for the trying to fuck the Scientologist chick from Fat Actress. Though I guess at the time she wasn't such a mess, she was just married to a Hardy Boy. Which is bad enough.


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