never been a bitch so I don't act bitchy

Thursday, April 20, 2006

A New Film Pigs Alternate DVD Commentary -- Everybody is Racist!

The Film Pigs watch Crash.

To call this movie ham-fisted would be an insult to the depth and
subtlety you get from ham-fistedness. From its opening scene, Crash
blunders through an endless series of tired racial stereotypes and
preachy cliches like a fat kid in an oversized pair of moon boots,
ultimately concluding that everyone on earth is not only racist, but
also an incompetent motorist. Best Picture 2005? What the fuck,
America? And would somebody please get Thandie Newton a God-damn

Download our commentary from Film Pigs dot com and give yourself a giant migraine trying to figure out how in hell the same 8 people in Los Angeles keep running their cars into each other.

And remember the Best Picture of 2005's timeless message: Everyone is racist and anyone who tries to change for the better will fail, so there's no point to anything.

Also, you can download (and subscribe to!) our podcasts at iTunes, under "Comedy." Or if you are a savage and don't have an iPod, you can just listen on your computer. (And then get an iPod because, c'mon.)


Anonymous pea said...

oooh, this precisely how I feel about that movie - it was so...insulting!

12:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh, my college president thought it'd be a good idea to show this film for Martin Luther King Day. Even though it doesn't quite have the same message as MLK.

2:52 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love you for doing this!

11:38 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it were not for the internet, I would have gone insane feeling so alone in my vehement hatred of this movie. It's probably because I'm a racist in denial, whereas the people who love this movie are cured ex-racists. I've gotta go rent it out now to "enjoy" it.

Thank you, internet!

5:42 PM

Anonymous JenXteen said...

My summation of Crash was "everyone is an asshole and if you try to be a good person, you'll still end up an asshole". I'm so happy I found 4 people who agree!

5:13 PM

Anonymous Ann L. Copyeditor said...

"Everybody Is Racist" -- please capitalize the "I." It is a verb and should be capitalized in headline style. Everyone thinks just because it's a short word like "the" or "and" it is inconsequential and should not be capitalized, but it needs, nay WANTS to be capitalized. Please help affirm its identity as an important part of this sentence. Thank you.

10:57 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked the movie a lot. I think it shines a light on a particular issue that many in the U.S. like to think is a non-issue - that somehow we've gotten beyond the racism of the past and that we now live in a rational meritocratic utopia. I don't believe that the movie is attempting to say that it is somehow representative of the way every single person is in the society in which it takes place. The movie isn't about you, it is about a social issue. Thus it focuses on individuals as they negotiate their way through that issue. Saying that Crash assumes that everyone in the US is racist is like saying Brokeback Mountain assumes that every woman in the US is married to a guy that is screwing his fishing buddy.

12:16 PM

Blogger stee said...

Saying that Crash assumes that everyone in the US is racist is actually like saying "A man walks into a bar...". It's just a joke.

3:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh... I don't get it. So, are you saying that Crash is not actually saying that everyone on the planet is racist - that you're previous statement was a joke? Or are you making another joke that I don't get?

9:09 PM

Blogger stee said...


10:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes to what?

1:08 PM


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