A New Man Law
You know what, Miller Lite, you fucking watery fake beer-like product? I like a little lime in my Corona or Pacifico. You insinuate that that makes me, what, gay? You think that makes me less than a fully-realized man? Well, suck it, Miller Lite you fucking disgrace of a beer. You faux beer. You fucking inanimate dildo to the beer world.
I'd like to propose a new "Man Law," Mr. Burt Reynolds. How about this? No man shall get plastic surgery which renders him fucking unrecognizable and turns his toupee-topped face into a scary rictus mask of surprise, defeat, and poorly-covered decay.