never been a bitch so I don't act bitchy

Monday, January 29, 2007

God, Inc - Episode 5

Episode 5, "Beating The Muslims (Not Literally)" is up!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Film Pigs Movie Review Vlog #8

The Pigs take grumpy birthday boy Todd to see the giant croc (and giant crock!) movie "Primeval," a movie weighted down with more good intentions than entertainment value, gore, or logic. With special guests, Shannon, and Stee's annoying gum. Also, cat-teabagging and terrible singing!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

"God, Inc." In The Wall Street Journal

Yeah. Also, ask us for stock tips!

Stick Figures In Peril

This is my new favorite Flickr group.

The best is how people snipe when said stick figure isn't actually currently in peril, or more savagely, to quote a recent board post: "SOME PHOTOS LACKING IN SUFFICIENT PERIL."

Saturday, January 20, 2007

This Is A Lovely Restroom

Defacing with kindness.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

YouTube - God, Inc - Episode 4

Episode 4, "And Give Them An 11AM Deadline On All Species Submissions" is up!!!

Monday, January 15, 2007

A Transcript Of Jamie Foxx's Golden Globes Presentation Intro

(approaching the mic, music playing): "Congratulations, Selma. Yo! Hey, hey, how we doin' Dreamgirls table? Represent, baby. Love to see you. Yes!" (attention momentarily pulled by seeing Jay-Z) "Jig-ga. I see you. Everybody looks great. Will, I see you. Jada, you look great. Prince, that outfit is banging, baby. I love you." (uncomfortable silence; shot of Leonardo DiCaprio looking pissed) "Dreamgirls portrays a pivotal point in American musical history..."

Thursday, January 11, 2007

YouTube Got PWN3D*! By Me!

Thanks to reader "Mojo" for pointing this out to my previously-ignorant ass, but it turns out I'm in Esquire this month. There is a little article in the current Feb. issue about YouTube film critics and it features the Film Pigs, with a photo of us from the vlogs and our quote when we were making fun of John Cusack for having a tiny mouth like Jigsaw from "Saw III." Coupled with "God, Inc.," it's all been very, very strange and goofy. I just have to get all over MySpace now and I'll be the envy of 13 year-olds everywhere!

*Not exactly sure what this means. I was just trying to be down with the l33t hax0rz**!

**No idea what this means either.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Almost Emo

The comments on God, Inc. have been so much fun to read. With almost 800,000 views for the first episode alone, it's hard to keep up with them.

There have been many great disses:

"how dare you dishonor our holy god with this video. he is always watching, and will take this nonsense as a direct mocking of his emplacement. your all going to hell bottom line"

"this shit is gay and u guys should NOT make anothere"

"whoa! this is considered comedy. that was one of the more boring videos I've seen. Youtube should have a Boring category. This show would shoot right to the top there."

and the concise:


...But there have been far more compliments. Here are a few of the funniest:

"Soooooooo goood, funnier than just about everything on TV and definitely everything I've seen on YouTube. Being so good, though, you'll have to be destroyed. I'm sorry."

"u need a goddamn tripod!!! other then that! this kicks ass!"

"very clever and not too over the top like you americans are most of the time."

"To all you christians who hate this: forgive them ;)"

"Thoroughly depressing. Keep up the excellent work!"

"Nicely done! It could have used better lighting, but everything on YouTube could use better lighting..."

These are my two favorite personal compliments:

"Awesome! Love the Miracle Department guy, the Eeyore of Heaven."


"I like the Mr. Miracles.
He's almost emo.

(: LOL"

In other news, I spent the day in Westwood at FBI headquarters. No, I'm not being investigated for anything -- at least nothing I know about. Rather, I was asked to partcipate in a seminar focused on teaching the inner-workings of the FBI to Hollywood writers. It's very important to them to be portrayed accurately, and they have thus made a big effort to be more transparent with their goings-on. It was a fascinating 4 hours, during which I ate Quiznos, took more notes than I have since college, saw the horrible abuse of PowerPoint during an Enya-fueled tribute to 9/11, learned that the agents get testy when questioned about their post-9/11 relationship with the CIA, learned that the FBI "never" employs assassins but that I should "go ask Langley," (hint hint), wondered why Amy Brenneman was there, resisted asking director Brad Silberling for my 9 dollars back for sitting through "10 Items Or Less," and gained a real appreciation for the work the FBI does with such obvious limited resources.

Basically, the organization has been asked to completely change their focus from being an agency who tracked down bank robbers, white collar criminals, and mobsters, to keeping an entire country safe from terrorists bent on destroying our way of life, and with little more, or in some cases, fewer resources.

I'll tell you, though. The oddest part of the day was having these G Men who could all clearly break my neck with a twist of their arm, treat me with deference. Clearly-undeserved respect rules!

Plus, there were cookies.

YouTube - God, Inc - Episode 3

Episode 3, "Who Stole God's Lunch?" is up!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Cusack Has Hidden Piven's Firebird Keys...

...for the last time.

Monday, January 08, 2007


Great article on the buzz surrounding GOD, INC.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

"God, Inc." Selected For YouTube Homepage!

Francis Stokes' comedy series "God, Inc." was just selected for the YouTube homepage... alongside a guy making funny faces and a baby farting! (Being "featured" is basically the highest achievement for YouTubers. Go ask a 12 year old. They'll tell you...)

And people seem to be digging it a lot, from the comments. It's actually very exciting. Plus, we also get to read stuff like, "WOW THAT WAS GAY..." and "Who ever wrote, starred, and / or filmed this needs to shot, maimed, and burned at the stake. DON'T EVER MOCK GOD!!" As of last count, over 200,000 people have watched it. Pretty amazing, this new media thingy.

But go watch them. Episodes 1 & 2 up so far. 3 on its way. And it's not gay. Not really. Even when I'm in it.

(Just go to the homepage of YouTube right now, or later, just search for "God, Inc." Hooray Frank!)

Saturday, January 06, 2007

MySpace Dilemma

What happens when you come across someone who is not in your extended network?

You're supposed to kill them, right?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Film Pigs Movie Review Vlog #7

The Pigs watch "Black Christmas" and make New Years' resolutions. With special guests AK and straight-from-Indiana, former Pig, Robb!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Also, More Pounce

The cats left a list of resolutions for the new year next to their litter box.